Kill Barney Pt 1
by TheElementalStation
Summary: Welcome to the ElementalStation in . Today's fan-fic is written by SamuraiJD, So here he is. "Hey guys, Today's fanfic contains language and violance. (If you want to call it that.) If you people remember Barney the Dinosaur? Well, get ready to see him die as J.D. (me) and James (my bestfriend) bring on the pain in The T.V. World!"
1. Chapter 1: Shock TV

Kill Barney!  
Part 1: J.D. and James' Story

=============================================== Chapter 1: Shock T.V.  
===============================================

-Our story begins one rainy day at Jack's aka J.D.'s house. Where J.D., his friend James and James' girlfriend Charlene are all hanging out and channel surfing on the T.V.-

J.D.: Can one of you two just pick a channel and stick to it?

-J.D. said, and looks at Charlene and James-

Charlene: Don't look at me, I'm not in control of the remote.

-replied Charlene as she points to James-

James: 500 channels and nothing on.

J.D.: Thats because you started seeing the Pay-Per View channels and all the way to the one thousand channels where no one can get.

James: Ooh okay. Let's go threw channel 1 again.

-James changes the channel to channel 1 and continues surfing threw other channels, until he stopped at channel 8 and sees Barney & Friends on T.V.-

J.D.: Oh god! Not this show!

Charlene: Why did you stop at this show?!

James: I thought that show was gone a long time ago?

J.D.: Sadly no, kids however still love this lame-ass show and the guide said its a marathon.

-Lightning strikes from outside in a bright flash and the thunder roars loudly that J.D., Charlene and James jumped in fear and James lost the remote as the T.V. is stuck on Barney & Friends show. J.D. looks outside from the window and sees that its raining hard outside.-

J.D.: Damn, its a heavy storm.

-J.D. looks at the T.V. and sees that Barney & Friends show is still on.-

J.D.: James, change the channel!

-J.D. yelled at James while James is searching for something.-

James: I dropped the remote and I can't find it anywhere.

-Charlene helps James finding the remote.-

Charlene: How did you lose a fucking remote?

-J.D. helps them find the remote, they look inbetween the seats and under the chair and it they couldn't find it anywhere, until lightning strikes again from outside in a bright flash and the thunder roared loudly that Jack, Charlene and James jumped again. the second after, James with a stupid grin found the remote and yelled.-

James: I found it! It was in my pocket!

-Jack walks infront of James and grabs the remote from his hand and says...-

J.D.: Good! Now to change the channel to left us to suffer hearing.

-James takes back the remote from Jacks hand and replies.-

James: But, I won the rock, paper, scissors for the remote and I say 'Channel Surfing'!

-Jack grabs the remote and tries to take it away from him.-

J.D.: Fuck no! It's boring as hell! We're choosing one channel and sticking with it!

James: Hell no, Homie! You got Dish! you got a shit load of channels!

J.D.: Not Every Channel and we are choosing one channel!

James: Boring! Channel Surfing!

J.D.: You're Boring! One Channel!

-James and Jack struggled, fighting over the T.V. remote. the fight lasted less than a minute, Charlene ducks down from hearing thunder roaring louder than before as a lightning bolt strikes the satellite dish and a power surge over charged the T.V. set and it zapped the remote that James and Jack were fighting other and it zapped James and Jack and then they were both sucked into the T.V. screen and the remote fell on the floor. Charlene looked up to see what was going on and sees that the boys were gone.-

Charlene: Guys? Uhh, Guys? Where are you?

-When the lightning bolt zapped the satellite dish and caused the T.V. to zap the remote with James and Jack aka J.D. holding it and they were sucked into the T.V., James and J.D. are going threw a portal holding the remote as its like the remote is the hook and our two heroic idiots are the fish and being realed in as they see pictures of T.V. shows passing by inside the portal. inside the long tunnel within the portal, James said.-

James: Where the fuck are we?!

J.D.: How the hell should I know!? All I remember is that we got zapped by the T.V.!

-James and J.D. while holding the remote as it still continues dragging them threw the portal as they look around inside the portal and sees pictures of T.V. shows all over the world passing by them, curious at where they are and where they are going as well.-

James: I think we're in the T.V.!

-J.D. looking at James with a smug and pissed off look-

J.D.: We are in the T.V.? Okay, This HAS to be a dream. WAKE UP, ME! YOU FAT BASTARD!

-James hits J.D. on the back of the head and replies-

James: Is it a dream now?

J.D.: Oww! Bitch!

-J.D. hits James back on the back of the head-

James: Oww! atleast we're not dreaming.

J.D.: Good to know! now, where are we REALLY?

James: We have to be in the T.V., different T.V. shows are passing by us rapidly.

J.D.: Uhh...Dude? Red Alert! End of the tunnel!

-both James and J.D. screamed as they pass threw the end of the long tunnel and they both woke up and appeared in a strange world. As our two heroes look around the strange place and wonder 'where are we?' 'what is this place?'-

James: Where are we?

J.D.: What is this place?

-See? I told you. Never doubt the narrator, bitch! (Just kidding about the bitch part.) Anyway, let's continue. They wondered upon a playground at a school yard, they enter the school yard and see if theres anyone inside the building.-

J.D.: Dude, Theres no one inside. Where the hell are we?

James: I don't know, dude. This is weird. Are we really inside the T.V. world?

J.D.: You might be right.

=============================================== Ends Chapter 1...Continue to Chapter 2. 


	2. Chapter 2: Imagination Nightmare

Kill Barney!  
Part 1: J.D. and James' Story

=============================================== Chapter 2: Imagination Nightmare ===============================================

-They both exit the building and look around the playground, but no one was around.-

J.D.: Hey, wait a minute. Does this playground look familiar?

James: Why you say that?

J.D.: Well, look. If this world IS the T.V. world. Is there one show that has a playground like this?

James: You have a point. But, what show is this place?

J.D.: That's what I want to figure out. This place looks familiar, but what?

-The two heroes started thinking for about a good 20 seconds. As they realized where they are in a heap of fear as both together said at the same time.-

J.D. and James: -Gasped- We're in Barney & Friends!

-...And they are completely fucked! This is there thoughts people. your heroes!-

James: I thought the show was gone, dead, destroyed, cancelled!?

J.D.: It stopped showing new shows since 2009, but it continued airing reruns.

James: Those bastards! wait a minute, didn't you say this show is having a marathon?

-J.D. with a shocked looked in his face as he remembers what he said before him and James got zapped into the T.V., as he did say that the show is having a marathon. So with his shocked and scared look, he looks back at James and replies.-

J.D.: Umm...Uhh...N-Noooo? I hope not, I'm not lying or anything, that be dumb a-and stupid!

James: It is a marathon, is it?

J.D.: Yes...

-At that point, suddenly the school bell starts ringing loudly as kids start to appear and walking into the school building as school is starting for them. As the kids are walking inside the building, J.D. and James with puzzled faces.-

J.D.: What's going on?

James: I think the show is starting.

J.D.: Either that or it's school time.

-A group of four kids walked in together hanging together at the playground as they walked up to J.D. and James looked at them with a confused look.-

Billy: Hey, are you guys new students here?

J.D.: No, we're not and aren't you four alittle too old to be in elementary school?

Jenny: Of course not, we're all the same age. we're 10 years old.

James: But you all look like teenagers.

Gabby: We get that alot.

David: But we are really 10 years old.

J.D.: Uh huh..So, who are you four anyway?

Billy: I'm Billy.

Jenny: I'm Jenny.

Gabby: I'm Gabby.

David: And I'm David.

Billy: So, whats your name?

James: I'm James.

J.D.: I'm Jack, But my friends call me J.D.

Billy: Well, It's nice to meet you James and J.D.

J.D.: Don't call me J.D.

-Billy rephrases what he said earlier-

Billy: "James and Jack." So what brings you guys here?

James: We got zapped by the T.V. and we were teleported here.

J.D.: Blame James for teleporting us here and we can't get out of here.

David: Then you guys are from the real world. A world outside of the T.V. world.

James: Ah HA! I knew we were in a T.V. world! Suck it, Jack!

J.D.: Go to hell, tinkerbell! Anyway, you guys know this is a T.V. world?

Jenny: Well, of course. Every television show all over the world are all here in this world from live action to cartoons from old shows to new ones, they are all here. But when a new show is aired, it gets set in its own world here and doesn't interfere with any of the other worlds. But here in the T.V. World, we live forever as who we are as our characters are based on in this show. This show has been on reruns for years.

J.D.: I see... But, Theres something that I need to know. If this IS the T.V. World, Then what happens to a t.v. show when it gets cancelled?

Gabby: They get blocked from the real world and get sent to the Cancel Realm with all of the other cancelled shows, never be aired in the real world unless said other wise. Which is nothing but a prison meeting previous characters from the same show and other characters from other shows.

J.D.: Damn, that's abit harsh.

James: Also, since you guys know what this show we are in now is, What is the name of this show?

-As when James asked them, at the same time, Billy, Jenny, Gabby, and David all said together "Barney & Friends!" in big wide smiles. At that point, our heroes were scared with the saddest faces and J.D. smacked James on the back of his head in disappointment.-

J.D.: God damn it! I knew it! I fucking knew it!

James: Oww! Yeah, we're in hell!

Gabby: No, you're in Barney & Friends.

J.D.: Shut up, Gabby!

James: Please, Tell me theres a way to get out of this show and back to the real world?

Jenny: Well, Of course. You got to wait for the show to end.

J.D.: But, this show is going threw a marathon.

Jenny: Then, I guess you boys are stuck here til the marathon is over.

J.D.: James, kill me now.

James: No, you kill me first.

-both James and J.D. rings eachothers necks, choking eachother to death. Wow, these guys really hate this show, huh?-

David: Are you guys playing a game?

-J.D. tries to reply back while being choked to death by James while he's choking him to death also.-

J.D.: Yes, we're playing murder mystery game! Of course, we're not playing a game!

Billy: Why don't we all play a mystery game?

-Both James and J.D. stopped strangling eachother and realized whats going to happen. they both see the Barney doll on the ground and remember that its the part where Barney comes to life.-

James: Oh no!

J.D.: Don't do it!

David: Do you mean pretend?

J.D.: God damn it, Don't do it!

James: No, no, no, no, no!

-At that point, a sudden spark of magic wrapped around the Barney doll and made Barney appear and came to life.-

Barney: Did someone say pretend?

-Billy, David, Jenny and Gabby smiled in cheer as they see that Barney has appeared as they rushed towards him and gave him a hug.-

Billy, Jenny, Gabby, and David: Barney!

J.D. and James: Son of a bitch!

Barney: Hi kids, Did someone said mystery game?

Billy: Yeah we did, Barney. You want to play?

Barney: It's sound like fun!

J.D.: I think I want to play dead..

James: This is going to take forever. We got to survive.

Barney: Do you two want to play our mystery game?

James and J.D.: NO!

-After afew hours, both J.D. and James try to endure threw the episodes of Barney & Friends as they can. However, it was too great for them to bare, after four episodes stuck in the show, both J.D. and James sit against a wall on the cold ground and in a somewhat coma of being forced to watch episode after episode of Barney & Friends, it would seem that all hope for them is lost.-

Billy: Hey, Jack? James? you guys okay?

-Both James and J.D. wake up seeing Billy, Jenny, Gabby, and David again in front of them and seeing Barney the Dinosaur catching butterflies in the background.-

J.D.: Uhh...wha-?

James: What happened?

David: You guys fell asleep like statues when me and others played games with Barney five episodes ago.

J.D.: How did you know it's been five episodes since we've been here?

Jenny: It is the T.V. world. We characters don't disappear unless something happened to the main character of the show.

J.D.: You mean, If something were to happen to Barney in here now. The show will be done with?

Billy: Well, Cancelled really.

-both James and J.D. were shocked hearing that, as they were angry from not hearing about this sooner.-

James: Well, Why didn't you tell us about this sooner?

Gabby: Well, We thought it didn't care to anyone about this.

Jenny: Yeah, All of us past kids loved Barney then and we still love him now.

Billy: Besides, We'd be lost without Barney if he was gone, We would do anything to get him back.

David: And no one knows how to defeat him.

-J.D. slowly tries to stand up on two legs and says.-

J.D.: Well, I got an idea how to beat him and that is to punch the FUCK OUT OF HIM!

-Billy, Gabby, David and Jenny gasped to hear that from J.D., As James starts to stand up and joins his friend, J.D.-

Billy: You said a swear!

James: Damn straight, He said a swear and I'd be damned if he didn't! But, he speaks the truth. Barney...

J.D.: ...The...

James: ...Dinosaur...

J.D.: ...Must...

J.D. and James: ...Die!

=============================================== Ends Chapter 2...Continue to Chapter 3. 


	3. Chapter 3: Kill Barney

=============================================== Chapter 3: Kill Barney ===============================================

J.D.: Hey Barney!

Barney: Mmmmm'yes?

-When Barney turns around, James and J.D. ran towards Barney and at the same time they both punched Barney on his belly, but the force absorbed the blow and pushed both J.D. and James away as they both fell down to the ground.-

Barney: What was that for?

-Both J.D. and James get up off the ground.-

J.D.: Sorry Barney, But your day of being alive has come to an end.

James: You have made children from the past love you. But the past is past, the kids that were kids back then have now grown up and over you and annoyed by you with a new generation of kids that adore you.

J.D.: Until now...This ends here. We're shutting you down and get back home ASAP!

Barney: Well, okay. But I must warn you. I am a master of "Imagination-Fu".

-Barney then in a poof of smoke, appears wearing a ninja outfit with his name on the back and a headband saying "Friendship is magic!" and ready to fight against J.D. and James.-

James: Kick him in the head!

-Both J.D. and James ran towards Barney and jumped high as both of them land a kick directly to Barney's face, but like before from punching him in the belly, the blow was absorbed and pushed both James and J.D. again away as they fell down again, but at the same time, Barney fell down as well. Soon, Barney slowly gets up and giggles.-

Barney: Oopie, I fell down. Did I had a bug on my face?

James: You got to be kidding me!

-J.D. runs in head first towards Barney and jumps high again to kick him in his belly again, however Barney saw a butterfly...ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!-

Barney: Ooo, A butterfly! I'm gonna catch you.

-When Barney saw the butterfly, he turns around and swings his tail at J.D. and hits him with his tail, J.D. slams to the ground hard by getting hit by Barney's tail.-

J.D.: Oww, Damn it! How did he-?

Barney: Oh no, The butterfly flew away.

J.D.: You're kidding me, I got hit because of a butterfly?!

James: Dude, we need weapons! Lots of weapons!

J.D.: How? We left our weapons back home?

-Meanwhile back at the real world with Charlene alone and sees J.D.'s Samurai sword mounted on the wall with a sign saying "Do Not Touch, Unless given permission or when robbers are in the house...or zombies." and Charlene takes J.D.'s sword and she starts imitating J.D. and James.-

Charlene: 'Ooo, look at me. I'm Jack. I have a Samurai sword because I'm a samurai, bitches. derpa derpa derpa derpa!' 'I'm James, I'm a silly monkey with Katars. I chose to be a vampire because of Twilight, because I'm such a dork. blahblahblah!'

-Back in the T.V. world, both James and J.D. sneezed at the same time, but having a feeling that their noses didn't itch. (Did you know when someone talks or thinks about someone else, that someone else will sneeze and their nose won't itch? Thats whats happening.)-

James: That was weird, my nose didn't itch. Oh well, You okay, Jack?

J.D.: I sence a distrubance in the force.

James: That Bothans died to get infomation about the Death Star?

J.D.: Why would I talk about 'Dog people'? No, I have a feeling that theres no way to beat Barney and someone is touching my samurai sword back home.

James: Dude, Right now. Your samurai sword would be useful for this fight here!

J.D.: Well, It's not like we can just imagine a weapon right in front of us!

Jenny: Actually, you can imagine anything here in this show.

James: Anything? including weapons?

Billy: Well yeah. This show is nothing but imagination, Anything you imagine here will come to life.

J.D.: Then I'm imagining a samurai sword.

-In a poof of smoke, a samurai sword appears in front of J.D. thanks to his imagination.-

J.D.: Nice! SLICE AND DICE' TIME!

-J.D. grabs the samurai sword and charges towards Barney, as he swings his sword at Barney, the force of the swing sliced off Barney's arm off-

Barney: Oh no, My arm!

Jack: Holy crap, It worked!

James: Holy crap, It worked!

-Holy crap! We can end the story quickly!-

James: Now I'm imagining Katars!

-Just like what happen when J.D. imagines a samurai sword, in a poof of smoke, two katars appear infront of James.-

James: Fuck yeah! Hey Jack, save a limb for me!

-As James grabs the katars, he too charges towards Barney and with a blink of an eye, James sliced off Barney's legs off as Barney falls down from losing his legs.-

Barney: Ooopie! I lost my legs! This is not good.

-As Barney lays down on the ground with no legs and one arm. J.D. sliced Barney's head off clean, but as soon as Barney's head was cut off, Barney's body and limbs explode in a poof of smoke.-

James: Did we win?

J.D.: I thought we did, I cut his head off.

David: You can't kill him in his imagination form.

James: Do we have to kill him as a doll?

J.D.: James, look.

-J.D. points at the Barney doll for James to see and with shocked looks apon their faces, they couldn't believe that after what they did to Barney when he was alive, the Barney doll remains unscratched as his limbs are still attached to him.-

J.D.: If we can't kill him in his imagination form, then we have to destroy his doll form.

James: I'm ready when you are!

Billy: Don't! You can't kill Barney!

Jenny: He's our friend.

Gabby: We love him!

David: And we'd be nothing if Barney was destroyed.

James: But we have to get out of this world, so we can go home!

J.D.: James is right and we can't stay here and watch more of these reruns in this marathon. We're deeply sorry, but this has to be done. James, Now!

-J.D. and James took their weapons and shreaded Barney's doll form into pieces, when they were done shreading Barney's doll form into pieces, his soul appeared out of the doll and roared loudly in anger, at that point when his soul was roaring, an earthquake started and shook the entire school yard. Barney's soul faded away after he finished roaring as the earthquake still continued shaking.-

J.D.: What's going on?!

James: I don't know!

Billy: You destroyed Barney! And because of what you two have done, the show is going to be cancelled and we'll be locked away forever like the other T.V. shows in this world!

James: We got to get out of here!

J.D.: But how?!

-At that point, in James' pocket, the T.V. remote that brought them here to the T.V. world starts to glow and appears floating infront of James and J.D.-

James: What the hell? Why is it glowing like that?

J.D.: James, I think this is our ticket back home!

James: Then let's grab it and go home!

-As both J.D. and James grabbed the T.V. remote, they were shot together within a beam of light holding the T.V. remote. As both our heroes see that the little land that was the 'Barney & Friends show' sinks down towards the dark land called the Cancelled Realm as it's where every cancelled T.V. show goes to.-

J.D.: I hate to see that show to be cancelled, you know? I know that Barney & Friends was an annoying show, but it brought alot of laughter and cheer when we were kids.

James: That's true and the show did hold out for a long time. But after everything that it went threw in the years, it just needed to end and needed to be cancelled.

J.D.: Yeah, Atleast theres other kids T.V. shows that are still good for kids and less annoying for adults.

James: You mean like "Blues Clues"?

J.D.: Yeah, and "Animal Mechanicals".

James: That one is good. What about "My Little Pony"?

J.D.: That reboot show that started the era of bronies, fuck that shit!

-James and J.D. enters threw the long tunnel from before that teleported them from the real world to the T.V. world. As they see a bright light at the end of the tunnel, they see their living room.-

James: There's our living room!

J.D.: We're heading home!

-As J.D. and James passed threw the bright tunnel, their T.V. screen starts to glow and spits out James and J.D. arriving from the T.V. world. as they both made a crash landing on the couch.-

J.D.: Woohoo! Awesome ride!

James: Let's do that again!

-Charlene dressed up in ninja and samurai-like armor and clothes, jumped up infront of J.D. and James, scaring the two of them.-

James: What the hell!?

J.D.: Holy Shit!

Charlene: James? Jack? Boys is that you?

James: Charlene? What are you doing wearing that stuff?

Charlene: I thought someone was breaking in. So, I wanted to scare them. But where did you guys go? you've been gone for 5 hours.

James: Oh, Me and Jack were teleported to a T.V. world and we have to kill Barney the Dinosaur to get out.

Charlene: Ooh, well. Are you both alright?

James: Yeah, we're fine. See? We're okay.

Charlene: Wheres Jack?

-James and Charlene sees J.D. exiting from his bedroom with a very angry mood.-

J.D.: I knew I sence a distrubance in the force.

-Charlene looks at J.D.'s samurai sword that she's been holding.-

Charlene: Uh oh...

-Meanwhile, back in the T.V. world in the cancelled land. We see the past kids that were ever in Barney & Friends appear surrounding the destroyed pieces of their fallen friend, Barney.-

Jenny: He's gone, He's dead. And so are we now that we're stuck here cancelled.

Gabby: It's both James and J.D.'s fault, they destroyed Barney.

David: And now, there's nothing we can do.

Billy: Yes, we can. We can bring him back to life and get revenge on those who killed Barney in the first place.

Jenny: How?

Billy: We'll use the one thing that our show will never dare use or bring up.

David: You don't mean?

Billy: Yes, a satanic blood ritual...

=============================================== Ends Chapter 3 and Part 1 of Kill Barney...To Be Continued for Part 2. 


End file.
